The Next Thing I Will See
“You… Lost… Your… Vision…?” The friendly, professional customer service representative asked when I nonchalantly mentioned my recent loss as I was calling in to inquire about any discounts or ways to bring down my cell phone bill. She asked with so much shock, emotion, and disbelief in her voice, I thought she was going to cry.
“Oh my gosh… I am so sorry.” She somberly told me as she began typing again and continued to gather my account information clearly still dazed by what I had just told her.
I am unsure if she had a close relative or friend with sight loss or just never realized that one day, somebody can see the world around them and just two short days later, the blue sky, green grass, and the smiles on people’s faces could be just a memory.
Perhaps because blindness affected me personally or maybe due to the other issues I had going on in my life at the time, I did not consider the gravity of the statement, “I lost my vision.”
Since then, I have had many similar conversations for one reason or another and no matter how tactful or frank and straight-forward I am, phrases such as, I’m so sorry, that’s awful, or sometimes just, wow… are all too common when people hear that part of my story.
Eight years ago, I saw the world clearly. Now, I go through each day squinting and straining, trying to hold my magnifier steady enough or hoping that new piece of software will work with the screen reader installed on my computer. I have to adapt tasks that before, seemed so mindless and mundane. Taking the correct medication, putting shampoo in my hair instead of facewash, and even walking down the sidewalk are all so different than they once were.
Thankfully, I have amazing, supportive friends and family and technology is advancing rapidly. However, I have never received a solid prognosis. My foreseeable future is not see-able. The breath-taking views I overlook from my favorite hiking trails are mostly just a beautiful blur of grayish faded green and blue. Outside of a miracle, I will probably never see my daughter’s beautiful, big, blue eyes that everybody is so quick to compliment. I will most likely never see the gorgeous detail of my wife’s stunning smile that I hear so much about.
I have no doubt about the next thing I will see clearly. Someday, I will see the face of Jesus brighter and with more clarity than anything I have seen before.
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